Yin Yoga is a passive style of yoga developed by Paulie Zink and taught by Sarah Powers and Paul Grilly that integrates yoga poses and knowledge of Chinese meridian theory. Meridians are lines of energy that run through the body and correspond to internal organs. These can be accessed through acupressure, acupuncture, hand-on-healing, and even by your own stretching to activate them. 
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The Stomach/Spleen meridian pair are the main meridians you can target for benefits relating to disordered eating.
"The stomach meridian is the yang meridian and is paired with the Spleen yin meridian. It helps support physical and emotional nourishment. It functions with the Spleen meridian in the assimilation of Qi from food through digestion and absorption. The Spleen supports self-esteem and open mindedness." (Taken from NaturalHealthZone)

The idea in Yin Yoga is to target the energy lines so it's not as important that you do the exact pose in the exact right way. As long as you feel a stretch, an opening of energy, a deepening of sensation - in the area you're working on. 
Here are some tips for your Yin practice:

• Give yourself ample time for the practice. Light a candle, play some gentle music, invite in a soothing atmosphere.
• Stay in each pose for a minimum of 3 minutes and up to 10 minutes or so.
• You don't need to exert any effort. Once you find a position that is effective, you should be able to fully relax into the stretch. Use props such as blankets, pillows, blocks or bolsters to create ease.
• Come out of each stretch very gently and slowly. Allow yourself time to lay flat in Savasana between poses and wait for the areas you were working on to feel pleasurable and flowing before moving to the next pose.

Here is a list of some poses that correspond to the Stomach/Spleen Meridian:

• Wide knee child pose (with or without a twist)
  
• Saddle pose (shown above)
• Dragon Pose (Low lunge)
• Swan Pose (aka Pigeon pose)
• Butterfly Pose
  
• And don't forget to do Savasana or Corpse Pose - laying flat and relaxing all muscles at the end of your practice 
  

Changing your thoughts about yourself may seem impossible. You have a very long term relationship with 'you' and it feels like you absolutely know and can rely on the view you have of yourself. When you hear yourself thinking "I hate myself" or "I can't do anything right" or any number of other self-defeating thoughts, you are actually abusing yourself emotionally. And as with any kind of abuse, it leaves a mark on your psyche. This internal negative self talk is very hard to break because it becomes a habit of the mind every time you are at all feeling insecure about yourself.

What you might not realize is that these negative thoughts are not true. They are a structure made up of many experiences you have had over the course of your life. More than likely, you have internalized messages that you received at a very young age from your care givers. It doesn't have to be the exact words they used that are going through your head now, but even passive ways they communicated to you that left you feeling unworthy. Your self-esteem is built on reflection you get from the world early on, so turning things around later in life is a daunting task. 

At the eating disorder recovery IOP where I work, we often come up against a big challenge with clients when it comes to self-esteem. A treatment program is fertile ground to examine your beliefs about yourself and weed through them. Then of course, comes the tricky part: planting new seeds of positive self-image.

This week in group, I brought in a song by India Arie called "Strength, Courage and Wisdom" and played it for the group. I asked each of the women to spend time reflecting on the song by journaling or drawing. We listened to the song 10 times in a row to really let it sink in. The song is groovy and fun. It's catchy too so it's easy to start humming along after the first time you hear it. Some of the women found themselves joining in under their breath as they journaled. 

When I asked them to share with me and the group what it was like to listen to this song each one of them said a version of, "Cool, song but I don't relate at all. I don't feel I have those qualities and I don't know how to get them." Although it was exactly what I expected to hear, their response made me sad. I looked around the room at these young women who had reached out for help in a world that sometimes makes it seem like having an eating disorder is par for the course to become pretty, successful and desired. I saw their strength. I saw them showing up here at the IOP day after day, riding the waves of up and down and picking themselves back up over and over when they fall. I saw their courage. I saw women who are choosing to look within for the answers. I saw women who, although they may waiver at times, they are beginning to build faith in their ability to change. I saw their wisdom. But they did not see these things in themselves.

I asked them what it feels like when someone gives them a compliment. Each in her own turn said that she can not accept a compliment and uncomfortably waits until it's over, then shakes it off. I asked each of them to think of one and sculpt two other women into the shapes of the person giving a compliment and herself when she is being complimented. For example, one woman sculpted a peer standing upright, chest and arms wide open in a welcoming gesture. Then she sculpted her peer in a stance that was slightly turned away, stooped over and averting her gaze. As we examined the sculpture we found that the person who was rejecting the compliment, was actually also rejecting the other person. She was making connection between the two impossible. And also, she was tense and holding tight, making things harder for herself than they have to be.

The points that came up in our discussion are very important to understanding what you are doing when you identify with the negative self-talk. Your whole body organizes around it. You are actually tensing up and holding on to the beliefs so strongly that your body tightens and is working hard to defend against any possibility that your thoughts might not be true. Your whole system is hunkering down. No wonder you feel trapped, alone and insecure. There is no space for anything else.

So how do you get from this place to a more open, fluid and self-accepting place?
There are a few important steps:
 
1) Recognize that this posture WILL change when the belief system changes. Whether you like it or not, your body will reflect the state of your mind. 

2) Becoming WILLING to allow it to change. This means you have accepted that you will change and you are curious about how.

3) Make a choice with your mind to influence your body posture. This is the rational step that we humans need to get "on board". You could call it a goal, an objective or a commitment. This choice will need to be made again and again until the new habit of mind and body become second nature.

4) Find tools to use to influence your body and make a little more space. The tools I am talking about here are already a part of your human body, but you may not be using them deliberately. The key here is to try a tool and track how it has affected you. Some tools might make you feel more open, others feel more grounded, some might help you feel safe. You will need to learn a few and adjust them to your needs in each moment. My favorite and most widely used tool is the breath. Breath as a tool is a subject in and of itself. Start with taking one deep full breath into the tension and see what happens.

5) Practice these tools when you are alone. It's important to practice when you are at ease and not in a triggering situation. This way you are giving your body cues that you will be able to use anytime. Practicing in the safety of your own space, when you are alone or with a therapist or other supportive person, takes away some pressure. Sometimes it's hard to do something different even when you're alone but at least no one else is there to be critical of you. You can work with your own inner critic and discover more about it.

6) Practice these tools when you are in different situations. Once you have practiced on your own, the tools will become more and more available in your day to day. You will find that using them throughout the day help you shift your inner world as needed.

Allowing yourself to be open to other possibilities besides self-defeating, self-loathing thoughts is a journey. It will not change overnight. But it will not change at all if you don't take some initiative. You have been a victim of circumstance for too long. You can choose not to continue being a victim of your own thoughts. With patience and determination, you will learn to heal your relationship with yourself.

Being in our bodies is hard. Pain and discomfort are built into our human systems. There are a lot of ways we find to try to escape. Drugs, alcohol, tv, over working, obsessing or distracting in many different ways.
 
People with eating disorders have found a way to manage the pain. They found out that if you can’t make it stop altogether, you can find a way to have it at least be a familiar entity that feels like something you can control. “Hey you pain… I can handle you. You can’t be in charge of me! I say when, where, and how!”
 
The better you succeed at controlling, the more you actually reinforce the fear of the pain. Because the more control you have, the safer you feel. So you find yourself in an unending cycle. Having control feels safe. So you need to get control over and over and over.
 
The problem is that you find out that it’s only an illusion of control. Things will happen in life that throw off your control and so the eating disorder ramps up. Anything can go wrong emotionally, physically, relationally – and you have your “go to” coping tool. Controlling the pain… Until one day, instead of you controlling your pain and your food, it is controlling you. And you are left worse off than where you started. And you realize that you are not in control at all. So you try and try and try to get that control back – to get that safety back.
 
Recovering from an eating disorder is difficult and scary because you have found something that works for you. You found a way to control the pain and bend it to your will. Until it stopped working…
 
So now what? The miracle cure for the pain has been hijacked by a whole new set of complications and you are left looking for different answers - for something that will help - but hoping in your heart of hearts that you won’t have to give up the control you think keeps you safe.
 
The most important thing to keep in mind when you are seeking treatment is this:
 
Recovery from an eating disorder is not about taking away your control. And it is not about taking away your safety. It is about finding out how you can discover or recover safety in your body, even  though you can’t control it all.
 
But how?? How will you learn to feel safe without control? Practice.
 
Practice. So the first thing is to practice being in your body. Simple. Just practice. Not perfection.
 
The first step is to start to cultivate an awareness of yourself in your body. The first step is to practice allowing yourself to be still and follow your impulses. To begin to practice an embodied movement meditation.
 
I bring the practice of Authentic Movement to a Eating disorder treatment group in Sonoma County. In this group I offer a facilitated form of movement therapy inviting the participants to listen to their bodies and let the impulses lead them.
 
Our first session was telling. I introduced the practice and they were curious and open to trying it. So we began by me guiding them into their bodies. With closed eyes, each of the participants found a comfortable position to begin. I spoke warmly and slowly, inviting them to allow themselves to follow any urge to move. I repeated time and time again that this was their safe space to learn to give themselves permission. To allow themselves to listen to their own bodies in a new way.
 
And I sat and witnessed them in silence.
 
It was difficult to witness these young women. Not because of the movements they were making. But because of their utter stillness. Every so often someone would make a slight adjustment. And I would eagerly watch, hoping that this would lead to a little more…
 
In reflection, we spoke about the ways in which each participant was afraid of being seen.  And how some felt they wanted to rebel against the freedom I was suggesting they allow themselves. We spoke about how they held on so tightly.
 
This is the way it begins. The noticing of what is. What is true for each of you right now is just as important as the path you will take to recover. You can not get anywhere else before you find out where you are at the beginning.
 
So if right now your are inhibiting your impulses, or holding tight, or clamping down, or afraid to be seen… That is where you are now. And you have permission to be there.
 
As you begin to learn to be with yourself and allow your experience, just letting yourself feel your own truth, your truth will continue to emerge. You are cultivating a listening. You are learning to attend to yourself in a different way. You are practicing compassion for yourself. And most of all you are opening up to curiosity. As you continue to pay attention and get curious about your internal landscape – you will find it easier and easier to navigate. And as you learn to navigate your bodily experience, you will find there is so much more richness to discover.
 
Being in control will start to seem pretty boring in comparison to the adventure of being an embodied human.